Alex Schnee

When I think of who I am, I still think of myself as a seventh grade girl with braces and long stringy hair. I played the violin (very badly) and totally had a crush on a football player.

But now, it’s seven years later, and I keep thinking I’m that kid. Three or four of my friends recently got engaged and we’re starting to get our own apartments and careers, moving to different places, and becoming adults.

And that is absolutely terrifying to me.

I’m twenty years old and I really don’t have anything figured out other than I like to write and I’m fairly good at it.

I don’t like to look in mirrors often, I mostly just glace at them to make sure there’s nothing in my teeth, but when I actually looked in one the other day, I didn’t recognize who was staring back at me. Her face was slimmed down, brunette hair pulled back, and actually a tiny gap forming in her front teeth because she did not wear her retainer after getting her braces off.

And I realized even though I might not feel like I’m growing up, that I might still feel like I’m that seventh grader everyone assumed was a nerd (and correctly), I am older.

Growing up is scary. And it’s not easy. But I’m learning there’s no right way to do it and there’s no set pace.

You just have to do the best you can.